MY FINAL STEP AWAY FROM THE STAGE WAS easier than it is for many. There wasn’t a career-ending injury that forced me to stop dancing. I wasn’t fired. It was my choice to walk away when I felt ready. But coming to the ledge of leaving the job that I had sacrificed so much for was nerve-racking. It was as hard to walk off the stage as it had been to walk onto it.
I joined the corps de ballet of Los Angeles Ballet in the fall of 2016 and was eager to jump into community college classes right away. I knew that my dance career — thrilling as it was — would not last forever, and that I would need an education when it came time for me to give up the pursuit of my dreams. By the time we’re professionals, most dancers are painfully aware that our careers can end in a chance slip-and-fall. It comes with the territory when you stand on your toes for a living.
But ballet companies don’t encourage dancers to plan for their futures. To the dance company, college courses are a distraction, and they don’t want distractions. They want dancers who are living, breathing and sleeping ballet; anyone who devotes less to the work, or thinks beyond it, is suspect. And so dancers tend to seek their education quietly, even secretly.
When I eventually decided to pursue a career in sports medicine, I began to work toward a biology major, taking the necessary sciences on Santa Monica College’s campus in the evenings after long rehearsal days. I found that college courses only added to my ballet skills, each enriching the other. My ballerina-by-day and student-by-night life continued until COVID-19 shuttered the performing arts.
When the pandemic hit, the remainder of our spring season was canceled. We were offered ballet classes to “stay in shape” over Zoom, but dancing in my apartment wasn’t sustainable, especially with thin floors and a downstairs neighbor. The silver lining of the two years I was unemployed was that it gave me the opportunity to double my academic course load.
On a whim, I applied to an Ivy League school and was accepted. I was overwhelmed and relieved at the chance to move beyond dancing and into a new life.
The relief, however, quickly soured into desperation when I read my financial aid offer. When I asked the financial aid officer how she expected someone with an income level considered to be below the poverty line to take on a quarter of a million dollars of debt, she answered nonchalantly, “Our students just go to the bank.” That was not an option for me.
I searched for anything that would help me pay for this chance: second-career scholarships, young-adult-starting-over-please-help scholarships. I could find nothing that met my circumstance. Goaded by my sister, I decided to create an organization of my own.
In the spring of 2021 I started the Encore Fund. We provide annual scholarship awards and mentorship opportunities to professional dancers taking their own steps away from the stage and into higher education opportunities. Our goal is to make the transition away from the professional dance industry less daunting for dancers looking to start or continue their higher education.
Since we began operating, the scholarship applications we’ve received have provided insight into the experiences of professional dancers. I’ve learned that most dancers have other interests they want to pursue. I’ve also discovered that many dancers find it difficult to leave the profession and go to school because the low wages and high demands of the job make it difficult to make the leap. And I came to appreciate how hard it is to tap traditional supporters of the arts to help with this problem. Audience members support dancers when the lights are bright, but when the curtain comes down? No one pays attention to where these dancers go.
I continued to dance professionally for two seasons, up until I received my UCLA acceptance. An aid package and my California residency were enough to make it possible for me to attend.
I’m not the only girl who dreamed of being a ballerina. I realize how lucky I was to realize that dream. But I also am not the only young person to seize that opportunity and then feel trapped by it. I hope the Encore Fund will help many others find their way from the arts to higher education.
Dancers deserve more than a final bow.
