The fighting in Ukraine is still raging.
“That war has to stop. Now,” Donald Trump said back in February. “And it’s easy to do.”
In an interview on Right Side Broadcasting, a conservative network, Trump said the United States should get Volodymyr Zelenskyy and Vladimir Putin into the same room. “There are things you can say to each one of them . . . which will guarantee that this war will end immediately.”
Immediately?
Yes.
The magic words?
“I won’t reveal [them],” Trump said. It “has to be done from the office of the president.”
Then how about telling Joe Biden the magic words?
No.
The words remain a secret.
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Overheard during dinner at Mar-a-Lago . . .
“This filet mignon is twice as expensive as it used to be.”
“That’s okay, Melania. We’ve got plenty of money.”
“But I hate it when things cost so much.”
“It’s Sleepy Joe’s fault.”
“You think everything is Joe Biden’s fault.”
“It is. Inflation has to stop and go away. I know how to make it end. Now.”
“You do?”
“In three easy steps.”
“What are they?”
“I won’t say.”
“Why not? I’m your wife. You can tell me.”
“The steps have to be taken by the president.”
“Tell him what they are.”
“No. Pass the butter.”
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Overheard on the 9th hole at Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster, New Jersey . . .
“That shooting a while back . . . ”
“I know, Lieutenant. Eight people dead. Six were kids.”
“Down at the middle school. I was at the scene all day. The guy with the gun is still loose. We have a full investigation going, so I can only do a couple of holes. But thank you for inviting me to play. I need the break.”
“You’re welcome, Lieutenant. I know how you can get the guy.”
“How?”
“You do two things.”
“What things?”
“I can’t tell you.”
“We’re old friends, Donald. Tell me.”
“That has to come from the chief.”
“You know him. Tell him.”
“No.”
“Then tell me!”
“No. Tee up.”
––––
Overheard at the Republican National Committee . . .
“I’m going to win the nomination and be president again, despite my indictment.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“It’s a secret.”
“We’ve known each other for a long time, Donald. You can trust me.”
“I can’t say.”
“Will you win by lying?”
“Easier than that.”
“By cheating?”
“Easier than that.”
“By stealing?”
“I won’t say.”
