Q: I’m hungry. Want to go out for dinner?
A: I take the question.
Q: It’s your turn to buy.
A: I’m not certain I would agree with that.
Q: You’re getting cheaper all the time.
A: Territory I’m loathe to get into.
Q: All right, we’ll eat at home. But first we need to do the dishes. Your turn.
A: I’m not going to wade in those waters.
Q: Then how about take-out at Taco Bell?
A: I will not opine on that.
Q: Hey, neighbors. You two going out? My weather app says: “Unhealthy Air Quality for Sensitive Groups.”
A: Change groups.
Q: Well, have a good time!
A: That I can’t get into.
Q: Honey, why do you always fasten your seat belt after you start driving? Don’t you know that half of all car accidents happen within a mile from home?
A: Let’s move.
Q: Honey! That was a red light!
A: I’ll take a pass on that.
Q: Good evening! Welcome to Taco Bell! How may I help you?
A: Read my report.
Q: Honey! It’s a drive thru!
A: I stand by my report.
Q: Would you like hot sauce?
A: I defer to you on that.
Q: Honey, this is embarrassing!
A: I can’t respond to that.
Q: I’ll go inside and get it.
A: That’s out of my bailiwick.
Q: Hi, you two. You’re back so soon! Dinner good?
A: I’m not going to speculate.
Q: Honey, your editor is on the phone. Where’s your story? It was due yesterday.
A: I take the question.
—–
The Last Laugh:
“MOSCOW—Saying that he had been ‘totally blindsided’ by the revelations from the recently released findings of the Mueller investigation, a shocked Vladimir Putin reportedly came to the realization Tuesday that he didn’t conspire with Donald Trump’s 2016 presidential campaign after all. ‘What the hell? I worked so hard on this—if I wasn’t colluding with the Trump campaign, who the hell was I colluding with?’ ”
– From the ONION
